My story, Shadow

The previous text of publication, dated September 1, was replaced on September 28.

Earlier, when in this publication I turned to you for financial support for the treatment of my mother, I promised, that I would tell my story and I could not break my promise. Everything, that you knew about me before, that I live in the zone of the military conflict of Ukraine, but now I have to tell everything, otherwise if at some point 3ost disappears from the Web forever (as it was with other good sites), then no one won't know why. I'll describe everything briefly, but very accurately, and if there are additional questions, I can always answer in the comments.

I'll begin my story with the fact, that in 2000, in my 15 years, I dived unsuccessfully into a pond and broke my neck. Fracture of the 7th cervical vertebra and contusion of the spinal cord of the III degree. For 21 years I have been almost completely paralyzed. Without enumerating medical terms, I will simply say, that I completely lost the ability to control all the muscles below the shoulder girdle; I do not feel warmth, coldness and pain; I cannot control some of the muscles in my hands, which is why my fingers don't work completely (but I learned to work with a computer comfortably). I can move in a wheelchair around the territory without obstacles, but in any case, I need physical assistance from a healthy person. For this reason, 95% of my life after an injury was spent in a confined space in the house and, to be honest, I have long been accustomed to it.

At the time of the injury, I was living with my dear mother and grandmother, who made every effort to ensure, that I survived. The death of my grandmother in 2006 was a great shock, but at that moment my mother made a tremendous effort to ensure, that grief didn't break us, and our life didn't get worse. For my part, I did everything to take care of my mother and help her in everything I could. I can say with complete confidence, that my life after the injury became dignified and incredibly happy, and my mother was happy in that little world, that we had built for ourselves.


On September 2, 2021, my invaluable mother, my brightest star in the universe, died at the age of 61...... We got the COVID-19 vaccine together, but got sick together before the immune system was formed. COVID-19 + pneumonia + concomitant diseases and the mother's body could not stand it, although she fought for 4 days in the hospital.

My wonderful world has fallen. I was left alone. And yes, there are wonderful people, who from the beginning and still help to solve the most difficult problems for me, but no one can calm the indescribable feeling of loneliness. Throughout my life, I have imagined thousands of times, what complete loneliness can be, but when there is at least one loved person nearby, I assure you, no scenario is incomparable with real loneliness. Appreciate and take care of your loved ones while they are alive!!!

I honestly don't know, what will happen to me even in a week, but when I said last goodbye to my mother, I also said, that I would try to live as long as possible, because as long as I live, my mother will continue to live in my memory. Mom supported me in my hobby of collecting soundtracks and loved 3ost very much, so as long as I have the opportunity to work on the site, 3ost will also live.

I apologize for not appearing on the site for a long time, not responding to your messages and writing these lines for a long time... a huge number of new problems are now taking all my time and completely draining my mind. There have been difficult moments in my life, but it has never been so difficult!

I sincerely thank everyone who responded instantly and helped me!!! I was able to provide my mother with absolutely all the treatment prescribed for her, but, unfortunately, it didn't help.

If you ask, do I need help now? The time has come in my life when I have to overcome modesty and a sense of shame, and I just have to say - yes, help is needed. Since the opening of 3ost in 2009, I have not told anyone and didn't want to tell my story, and I have never had the thought, that one day I'll ask you for help. Those people, who have been with 3ost all these years, know perfectly, that I am not an extortionist. Know, that if at some point you decide to support me, you are literally helping me to survive.

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